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English Department Writing Resources / First-Year Composition / Our Own Words / The James M. McCrimmon Award / Our Own Words 2001 - 2002 Edition / My Desire for Writing by Tangela Steele

My Desire for Writing by Tangela Steele

My Desire for Writing by Tangela Steele

I can remember my mother telling me that I was going to be a writer some day. As a child growing up I would always sit in a corner by myself with pen and paper and just write (scribble rather). My mother told me that I started doing this when I was about one or two years old. She taught me how to write my name, the alphabet, and words at an early age. I guess it was during the early stages in my life that my motivation for writing started. In elementary school I learned the basics of writing, which is grammar. Once I learned the basics, it shaped and paved the way for future writing pieces.

I have always been the youngest and only girl in a family with three children. I was basically a spoiled brat who got whatever I wanted. I always kept a diary to record my feelings. Whenever I got mad at my parents or siblings, or things didn’t go my way, I would go to my room and write about how I felt in my diary. I always felt better once I had my feelings down on paper. Writing was my way of dealing with growing up and going through the different changes of adolescence to becoming a young lady. I always wrote at my unhappy or happy times and whenever something was bothering me. I had to write when I was emotional because, if I didn’t, those moments would be lost.

When I was about twelve years old my writing started to develop a deep meaning. It was at this time that I started to write poetry to express how I felt about certain situations. To me, poetry was a way to escape the “mean and cruel world.” Therefore, whenever I had a problem or situation I would write about it. In my poetry, I wrote about finding myself and determining who I was, as my own person. I basically wrote about the many peer pressures facing me as a teenager, and what I needed to do to resist it. My poetry expressed how I saw myself then and in the future. Through writing poetry, I was able to endure and resist negative peer pressure.

Not only did I write about growing up and my feelings, but I also wrote about different situations around me. For example, I wrote about homeless and less fortunate people. I always had a deep concern for the homeless and less fortunate. One of my main goals is to help people who are less fortunate. I guess one may say that I am a kind-hearted person. Well, me looking around and seeing people living on the streets and hungry made me write about what I thought of them and how they can be helped. I also wrote about how I thought they ended up homeless or hungry. I wrote short stories about these situations. There was always a happy ending for my short stories. I always ended with the homeless and less fortunate people being helped and living a better life. My short stories always had morals and lessons to be learned. One of the lessons in them was that one should always weigh the pros and cons of a situation because one bad move could cause a lifetime of pain.

In the midst of writing my poems and short stories, I decided that I wanted to be a famous writer one day. Therefore, I started to write my first book. At the time I started writing my book I had a best friend who lived in a domestically violent home. My friend and I grew up together as neighbors and she would always come to me with her problems. Her brother threw bad temper tantrums and would fight her and her mother. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a father or male figure at home to help control her brother. Her brother was so abusive that she would often come to school crying. There were many times that her mother had to call the police and have them come to her house regarding her brother, but they would never do anything to him because they said he was a minor. This is what I based my book upon, a girl growing up having to deal with an abusive brother. I captured her feelings and experiences down on paper the best way that I could. Then from my experience, as her best friend, I was able to add some of my feelings in the book and imagine how I would feel if I had to go through the situation. I understood her pain because she and I were so close that her pain was my pain.

Unfortunately, when I was in high school, I only wrote when I had to do a paper or other assigned work and I stopped working on my book. My desire for writing wasn’t as strong as it was before. I could say that it wasn’t there anymore because I grew up and became mature, but that wouldn’t be true. I guess the real reason why I stopped writing is because my best friend and I weren’t close anymore after the problem with her brother ended. I believe we grew apart because by the time high school came around, we had different interests. Another reason why I believe that I stopped writing is because by then I reached high school and saw myself as a mature young lady. Peer pressure didn’t bother me anymore because I realized who I was and where I wanted to go in life. Therefore, poetry was no longer my way of dealing with problems. I dealt with my problems the way I thought they needed to be dealt with. I also joined my high school cheerleading team and that took up most of my spare time that I would’ve normally used for writing. My desire for writing never ended completely because I still write poetry and short stories every now and then.

I feel that everyone needs something that is an inspiration to her, whether it is one’s parents or some words of advice. While I was a senior in high school I wrote an inspirational paper. Writing an inspirational paper made me feel good. It opened emotions in me that I didn’t have to deal with on an everyday basis. Emotions such as pain, because I would have to leave all my high school joy, a special kind and indescribable happiness, and fear because I had to realize that pretty soon I would be on my own without my parents to guide me. In spite of all these emotions, being able to leave my fellow classmates with words of inspiration made me feel good. It made me feel even better when I knew someone took my words of advice in and benefited from them.

Whether or not I will ever start back writing is still up in the air. Right now I don’t have an absolute answer about writing. I love being able to express my feelings in ways that will touch people without me having to say a word. Writing gives me an opportunity to do just that. I assume that maybe one day, when I’m older and start a family, I may start back writing. I might even finish the book I started writing. One day someone may pick up my book, buy it, read it, and realize the pain of living in a domestically violence home and do something about it. Better yet, I may become a famous poet and write poems about horrors facing society today. Homeless people, murderers and rapists, and people having high status in the world are all possible materials for my writing. My writing may be so deep and hit the world so hard that one will look at the crookedness of society and try to straighten things out. Being a children’s writer is another idea. I will probably be the one who writes a child’s first book she ever reads, thus stimulating a little one’s mind and causing them to want to learn more. Right now, all these things are still lingering around as a fantasy waiting to become a reality. Will they ever come true? I guess we all shall see whenever my name is written (or not written) on a book cover.

 

My Desire for Writing - Rough Draft

I started writing during seventh grade when I was in middle school. In those days, I wrote poetry to express to how I felt about certain situations. To me, poetry was a way to escape the "mean and cruel world." Therefore, whenever I had a problem or situation I would write about it.

I'm the youngest and only girl in a family with three children. I was basically a spoiled brat who got whatever I wanted. Whenever I got mad at my parents or siblings, or things didn't go my way, I would go to my room and write about how I felt. Once I had my feelings down on paper, I always felt better afterwards. Writing was my way of dealing with growing up and going through the different changes of adolescence to becoming a young lady. I always wrote at my low or happy times and whenever something was bothering me. Those moments were times that one could never capture again so I had to write when I felt it.

Not only did I write about my feelings, but I also wrote about different situations around me. For example, I wrote about obstacles facing many teens when growing up and about homeless or less fortunate people. I always had a deep concern for the homeless and less fortunate. One of my mine goals is to help people who are less fortunate. I guess one may say that I am a kind-hearted person. Well, me looking around and seeing people living a not so good life made me write about what I thought of them and how they can be helped. I also wrote about how I thought they ended up homeless or hungry .

In middle school when I studied writing, I decided that I wanted to be a famous Miter one
day. Therefore, I started to write my first book. Unfortunately, when I reached high school I !
only wrote when I had to do a paper or other assigned work. My desire for writing wasn't as I strong as it was when I was in middle school. From the ninth to the eleventh grade I wrote a few
pieces of poetry , short stories, term papers, and reports. The only reason why I wrote those was for a grade. In ninth grade, there were a few poetry pieces that brought out the feelings I had towards writing in middle school, but I wasn’t inspired to start writing again. Also in the tenth grade, I wrote a term paper about the Titanic. This writing brought out some emotion in me because I like to write about real situations, things that happen as a lesson for others to learn from.

My senior year in high school was the time I was really motivated to start writing again. There was a new English teacher that entered my high school and I was fortunate enough to have her. In her class, we analyzed quotes, did a musical project, read literature, wrote an inspirational speech, and did a term paper on a poet. These issues brought out my writing skills. I'm a passionate person, and feelings mean a lotto me. Therefore, I like to write about things that have a special meaning. The quotes we analyzed were quotes dealing with day to day issues; quotes that made a person dig deeper then words to figure what the actual meaning is.

I'm a big lover of music. That's why the musical project I did in my senior English class was great to me. It gave me an opportunity to choose one of my all time favorite songs and tell what it meant to me. The song I chose was a love song, because that's basically all I listen to. When I wrote about this song it gave me an opportunity to share with my classmates the deep meaning of how I portrayed the song, and the importance of loving and having someone who is always there when you need him or her .

I feel that everyone needs something that is an inspiration to him or her. Whether it is one's parents or some words of advice. Writing an inspirational paper made me feel good. It opened emotions in me that I didn't bother with on an everyday basis. Being able to leave my fellow classmates with words of inspiration made me feel good. It made me feel even better when I knew someone took it in and benefited from it.

 

My Desire for Writing - Process Memo

When I did my final draft, a lot of things that I had in my previous drafts were taken out. I had a teacher conference when writing this paper, and at the teacher conference, he suggested things that worked and didn't work in my paper. He also suggested things that I could do to make it better. After giving his suggestions much thought, I went through my paper and decided what should be in my paper. I realized that this paper was telling of my personal feelings towards writing, not how I learned to write when I was in grade school and the kind of papers I wrote. When I came to this realization, I was able to focus my paper on how I like writing as an individual and how writing has shaped .and motivated me as a child growing up and as the woman 1 am today. Once I finished my paper and read through it, I answered my own question in the conclusion. I remembered how writing was a big part of my life, and I decided that I wanted it to again be a big part of my life. Therefore, one day my name will be written on a book cover.

I came up with the title of my paper during my final draft. I decided on the title, My Desire for Writing, because this title reflects how I once felt about writing. The title also reflects how I want to feel about writing again when I finish the book I started on and publish other pieces.